I Didn't Come to Christ. He Came to Me

Then Saul, still breathing threats and murder against the disciples of the Lord, went to the high priest and asked letters from him to the synagogues of Damascus, so that if he found any who were of The Way, whether men or women, he might bring them bound to Jerusalem. As he journeyed he came near Damascus, and suddenly a light shone around him from heaven. Then he fell to the ground and heard a voice saying to him, "Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting Me?" And he said, "Who are you Lord?" Then the Lord said, "Iam Jesus, whom you are persecuting. It is hard for you to kick against the goads." So he, trembling and astonished said, "Lord, what do You want me to do?" - Acts 9:1-6 (NKJV)

Yes, it's true I AM NO APOSTLE PAUL! Far from it. There are times when I struggle to remember John 3:16! Nevertheless, when it comes to conversion stories in scripture Paul's resonates the most with me. Knowing that we have all sinned and therefore fall short of God's Glory and are in desperate need of a savior to be justified is one thing. Being acutely aware of our sin is quite another. Grace remained strong in Paul because he understood how heinous his sin was in the face a of a Just and Holy God. It's a prayer I pray often and that God has been faithful in answering. 

July 22nd marked 28 years of being in a relationship with The God of Heaven. On July 22, 1992 in building 512, room 8 on an Army Base in California, God captured me. There was no gentle knock. No soft tug. No wooing. He was all business. I heard the truth of the Gospel while watching television that day. Someone was faithful enough to tell me the truth:

That God is Holy, meaning He is not like me. I am sinful and wretched and that left to myself would be a continual destructive force in the world. That God was angry with me because of my rebellion and sin against Him. I had spurned His authority and despised His rule and not only was I destined for hell, I deserved to go. BUT GOD, who is rich in mercy did for me what I could never do for myself. He came for me. He sent His Son Jesus to live a sinless life and die a sacrificial death. He took my place! He endured the wrath of God that I deserved, but because He had no sin, death had no right to Him and God raised Him from the dead, so that I could turn from myself and my sin and be reconciled to God - forever.

In that moment I realized how repulsive I was to God. In that moment I saw how much He loved me even though I was an enemy and deserved death. I didn't deserve to be in a loving relationship with Him! In that moment I saw and received Grace. By His own mercy my heart turned and knees bowed and tears fell. I don't remember praying any prayers and quite frankly I couldn't explain anything that had happened to me but from the beginning God has guided, provided, and protected me. He has been faithful even when I have not been. 

Even after 28 years, I still feel the weight of His Grace and I love it. I don't ever want to lose sight of who He is. I never want to forget where He found me and how He found me. I think Ezekiel 16:1-14 expresses that best for me. In this passage God is declaring His love for Jerusalem in the midst of their harlotry.  

If there is any beauty in me it is His. If there is anything lovable about me, it is Him. If I am arrayed in any splendor or display any kindness, it is all a refection of Christ in me. Many Christians have a life verse and I'm not any different. The one verse that truly captures my walk with The Lord is Song of Solomon 6:10, which I've written about in a different post, but here's the verse

Who is she who looks forth as the morning, 

fair as the moon, 

clear as the sun, 

awesome as an army with banners?

Everything that is good in me is a reflection of God, who is Good. It's easy to look at my 28 years and think that I've not made any significant mark on the world and that being 51 I don't have much time left to make that impact, but when I look at my 28 years all I see is Grace. God invaded my barracks room and took me. He took me from everything familiar and placed me in the kingdom of His dear Son. He has given me Pastors, Teachers, and Leaders who have shown me The Way. I look at my 28 years and I am more astonished at His Love now than I was at the first. While I pray for 28 more years here to share more of what He has given. Again, like Paul, I wouldn't mind leaving either. 

In Christ

Storm

(Photo by Jonas Ferlin. Courtesy of pexels.com)